How To Be A Kid Again

We found love in a hopeless place

2012-01-28T09:29:00.000-07:00

Every morning, on the way to dropping the my daughter to school, I witness something beautiful. I pass a father and son waiting for the bus together. Sounds ordinary, but it's not. The boy is around eight and the dad is probably not much older than me. In my brief observance every morning I often see them with their heads bent together in earnest conversation. Sometimes the dad is still in his pajamas, but he's always out there and he seems to clearly enjoy these moments with his son. Sometimes they are tossing a football back and forth. Sometimes its snowing and they are catching snowflakes on their tongues and making snowballs. Sometimes they box or race each other from one signpost to another. They are often laughing when I pass them. Every single time I see them I smile. I love seeing parents enjoy their children, and seeing a dad and son so enjoy each others company in the little snapshot I get each morning is inspiring. So, thanks Mr. Dad and Mr. Son, you rock.

Grandpa and Me

2012-01-19T10:01:00.000-07:00

My grandpa and I have always been good pals. I am the oldest grandchild, so we've always enjoyed a close relationship, even though he is a little bit hard-boiled at times. As he ages, he forgets quite a lot. This has lead to an interesting phenomenon. I'm finding that for the past few years, we have the exact same conversation every two to three months. It's weird, and involves procedures I've had done to my eyes (PRK) and procedures he wants done to his eyes (LASIK). He always asks my advice, I give it, and the conversation is over. At least for a few months, until the next time we have the same discussion. Verbatim. He is so sincere and intent on getting a different outcome every time it comes up, and I haven't the heart to tell him this issue seems to be on repeat.

I am not really sure why I even wanted to write about this. I guess I have been thinking about loving the difficult people in our lives and how easy it is to lose patience and grace. The repeated conversation bit with my grandpa is probably the least difficult way to show him that I'm here and willing to listen to him. I think a time will come when I'll miss the repetition.

On grief.

2011-03-29T12:33:00.000-06:00

Last Friday, my community suffered a terrible loss when two young people were instantly killed in a gruesome car crash. Nearly everyone I know is talking about it, many of my friends are close to the families affected.
Many more are not, but still seem to thrill at discussing all the unthinkable details of the deaths. I have noticed this phenomenon often when people talk about others tragedies. Cancer, accidents, murder. There are people who want all the trappings of tragedy without any of the pain. It's as if we like to talk about it just to assure ourselves it won't happen to us.
Is it a "There but for the grace of God go I" sentiment or something crueler? I want to be empathetic and sensitive to the victims families, and not overstep my bounds as an outsider; knowing that at truly any moment, a grief that deep could become my own.
My heart aches for those who lost someone dear to them.

Abandoned

2011-03-14T18:30:00.000-06:00

It appears I have left my blog to die again. I get these bursts of desire to write for my blog and then looooooooong periods of the need for a break from all these ideas that incessantly clack around in my head.

It's break time!

Buy my friendship!

2011-02-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

I suppose housewives have always hosted the occasional Tupperware or Mary Kay party, but it seems these buy parties are getting out of hand. In the past year I have fielded invites to basket parties, jewlery parties, candle parties, cookware parties and even just random gift parties. I sometimes will attend, if I know I can buy something but am always extremely uncomfortable when the person hawking their goods tries to pressure me into hosting a party of my own. I seriously don't have enough friends who would attend something like this, and even if I did, why would I subject them to the pressure? If you or someone you know makes extra money doing this, please know this isn't a judgement on you or your company. I just know that I could never muster up the enthusiasm to host a seller party in my home. So pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeasssssssse stop asking me to.

My Lydia

2011-02-16T22:21:00.000-07:00

Lyds is four and brimming with information, questions and noteworthy sayings.
Just this week she has:

1. Informed me that when we cough and blow our nose, little green men inside us get angry (Re: Mucinex Commercials)

2) Prayed at bedtime that God please put a sign on our house and car that says "You are our Jesus".

3) Expressed aspirations to be a chef, doctor, princess, karate expert (actually "Hi-YA" girl), superhero, mother of 9 children, and car mechanic.

4) Made me smile, laugh, yell, cry and thank God for such an amazing little girl. I love you sweetie shmakins.

Unchurched in New Mexico

2011-02-15T08:18:00.000-07:00

Being away from people who base their salvation on their church attendance for over a year was a welcome respite in a lifetime of churching. The effect actually drove me BACK to church, because the pressure was off. Since we have been back to New Mexico, the idea of church has once again become synonymous with judgment, obligation and most recently: ridiculous hypocrisy. The people we know who are most intertwined in church culture have become nearly intolerable to interact with. It's as if their involvement in church consumed their last bits of compassion, empathy and love. It's as if their self centerness is church sanctioned. It's very rare to hear a reference to Jesus, only numerous references to "the church" in a tone of reverence not even our president receives. For this precious church to be relevant to its original purpose, it must reexamine the alarming turn towards egomania.
Back to square one.

"These people draw near to Me with their mouth,
And honor Me with their lips,
But their heart is far from Me."
Matt. 15:8

Ode to Sophia Coppola

2011-02-10T21:26:00.000-07:00

If you know me, you know I have a short attention span. This defecit is most noticeable when it comes to movies, and it is rare for me to actually sit through an entire movie (which is why I rarely see a movie in theatres) and even rarer that I want to watch a movie more than once. So my love for the movie Lost In Translation is defintately an anomaly. I LOVE THIS MOVIE! No seriously, I can literally watch it over and over again. First I should say; it shouldn't be called "Lost In Translation" but rather "Those Crazy Japanese People!" From the weird (?) flower arranging scene to the ultra-hyper game show host in the polyester suit, the movie highlights the disconnect between our cultures.
I think the main reason why I love this movie is I really identify with Scarlett Johansson’s character "Charlotte". She fancies herself to be smart, yet feels so very lost. My favorite quote from the movie is when she is talking to Bill Murray’s character about her lostness. “I just don't know what I'm supposed to be. I thought maybe I wanted to be a writer... but I hate what I write, and I tried taking pictures, but John's so good at that, and mine are so mediocre... and every girl goes through a photography phase, like horses, you know dumb pictures of your feet..."
YES!! Here is my dumb feet picture (Circa 2005)

Legend of the Guardians: Fly Inside

2011-01-25T09:29:00.000-07:00

This is my new favorite scene from a movie. Hella cool!!

It's still winter

2011-01-24T14:33:00.000-07:00

While I have enjoyed this New Mexico winter, I think that the end of January should begin to warm up. It's still awfully cold!
I am eager to plant a little garden again this year, and I am beginning a compost heap. Figuring out how to compost has been harder than I thought. You'd think just throwing some kitchen scraps in a pile would do the trick but it turns out there is a science behind it. Nitrogen levels, temperature, location and content are all key in the success of a compost pile. I am still learning and researching. I like the idea of recycling all the organic waste from the kitchen and what better use could it go to than growing more food?
I can't wait for spring.

"A garden is never so good as it will be next year."-- Thomas Cooper

[A helpful site on composting.]

First post of 2011

2011-01-22T20:26:00.000-07:00

It is my intention to post daily here for the next few weeks. I have so many things I'd like to share... Evolving philosophies on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. I am trying hard and often failing at living in the moment, forgiving people, and loving, not judging. I can just strive for these things, since a lifetime of mistakes must be undone.

I recently had coffee with a person from a time in my life that I associate lots of bad memories with. While I never was at odds at this woman, in a way she represented a group of people I'd rather forget. I forced myself to look at her objectively and recognize that she has always been kind to me, and extended her friendship. When we met up, I told her that I admire her ability to stay out of the drama during that time and continue to show love. To me, she is what being a Christian is all about. Telling her this set me free from some bitterness I had towards that group, and it turns out set her free from guilt she felt.
I love days like that.
More tomorrow.

You and I

2010-10-02T14:47:00.000-06:00

Oh babe. If you and I were a tree, it would have six rings in the trunk. Each ring representing a year in our past, with each years uncontrollable events. I have loved each year, even the dark ones. With this ring I thee wed, we said. We had no idea.
I wouldn't change a thing.

Time to go

2010-09-26T09:49:00.000-06:00

I have lived in Louisiana for one year. It was an interesting year. I learned how to adjust to being a "stay at home mom". I had a successful pregnancy and now have a son. My husband and I got closer and we learned to rely more on each other. I went back to school. I made some really great friends. I got to hang out extensively in the French Quarter. I learned about a whole new culture.
But now it's time to go home. I never thought I'd miss Albuquerque quite so much. I miss the cultural openness and lack of racism. I miss green chile and Thai food. I miss rain that brings coolness instead of heat. I miss health food shops and bike paths. But really I mostly just miss the splendid New Mexico sky.
It won't be long now.

I am a granddaughter

2010-08-17T12:26:00.000-06:00

I have always been very close to my maternal grandparents. I spent endless days at their little casa as a child, and those memories are some of my dearest. They both have lived full, long lives and my grandpa (papa) is in his 90's with my grandma (tama) not far behind. In the past couple of years they have begun to age at a rapid pace. You could argue that they remained young far past their prime, and you'd be right. I hope evidence of my old age doesn't show up until my 90's too! Recently I have had them both on my mind. The absolute worst thing about being away from home this past year has been being away from them. I know our time with them is limited, and I really hate that I am missing out on their last years. There are things that remind me of them, and I find myself trying to evoke these memories. My grandpa always had a cup or two of instant coffee in the morning. Because of that I keep a container of instant coffee in my pantry, and when I am especially missing him, I'll have a cup. I bought some bar soap the other day because it reminded me of the soap my grandma used to scour me with when I came in from "playing outside" with my brother and cousins, sticky with the smell of "Off" and summertime. And of course, the food. Both of them are excellent cooks and I often find myself trying to replicate the tastes and smells of their kitchen. There is nothing better than my grandmas beans, I promise you. Making their simple but hearty recipes bring me closer to them.
Being their only granddaughter is my special privilege. I wish they would live forever.

Christmas 2008

Home

2010-07-11T07:47:00.000-06:00

The concept of home is a funny thing. What constitutes it? Is it where you live now? Or where you are from? I always tell my daughter that home is wherever mommy and daddy and brother are, and I am starting to believe it is precisely that. I spent some time back at my parents house this month and it was lovely to be there. I've missed my family. I've missed the sights, sounds and tastes of home. But during the time I was there, I also began to miss the coziness of the life we have created here in Louisiana. We live so much more simply here. We are happy. And that, is home.

A letter to my daughter

2010-06-21T07:56:00.000-06:00

Just last night I was jolted to reality at the sight of your knobby knees and long skinny legs. When did you transform from my chubby little baby girl into this growing little lady with long leg bones?

I realized you won't always smile at me with your chipped front tooth. Sometimes when you talk, I catch a glimpse of who you'll be when you are older. Self assured, alternately serious or silly, you are already growing separate from me. Soon you will create your own view of the world.

You and I won't always agree on everything, I know this. Aware of the tenuous bond between mothers and daughters, I promise to try my best to let you be you. I promise to never let you feel my love is conditional. I'll try to keep my judgmental silences and self righteous lectures to a minimum.

I will tell you about the mistakes I've made, and not expect you to take my word for everything.
You are my daughter and no matter what, thats all that matters.

I love you.

Challenge!

2010-06-11T19:07:00.000-06:00

My newish cyber buddy Karen over at Oh Fair New Mexico came up with these excellent blogger questions for her readers to answer. Always down to talk about myself, here are my answers:

1) What is your favorite fast food place, and why? Any answers of "oh, I never eat fast food" will be disqualified.
My dads old fashioned drive-in back in Nuevo Mexico. Best green chile cheeseburgers ever.

2) If you could be any one famous person for a week, who would it be and what would you do as that person?
David Sedaris. I'd book tour and live in France just like he does!

3) Regarding the gas tank in your car, are you one of those "never let it get below half a tank" people, or do you run it down to fumes before getting a fill up?
I am a reformed fumes person. Now I try to get it between a quarter and empty.

4) If you could be gifted with either the talent of truly gifted athlete (think Willie Mays, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky) or the intellect of a Nobel Prize winning scientist (think Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein), which would you choose, and why?
Intellect because thats interesting. I'd rather make an intellectual impact on the world than just hit balls around. (ha!) Unfortunately in our society, athletes make the most $$...

5) Slushies come in three flavors: grape, orange and cherry. Which flavor do you choose?
Orange always orange!

6) Do you play the lottery? If so, how often and have you ever had any luck? If no, why not? Once in a while (every six months if that!) I'll buy a few one dollar scratchers. I think the most I've won is $10.

7) Have you ever "borrowed" somebody else's stuff from the office 'fridge? (lunch, CoffeMate, yogurt, etc) Possibly a time or two. Definitely do not make it a habit though!

8) Speaking of the office. Here's the scenario: You need to make a copy so you walk up to the copy machine. The readout flashes, "paper jam". Do you turn around and walk away, or do you try to fix the problem? I am one of those anal people who has to have everything in working order and producing results. So I fix it.

9) Who is the most famous person you have ever actually met in person. As in shook their hand or had them speak directly to you or signed an autograph for you personally. Gloria Steinem at a chance meeting at a hotel. She was very kind and gracious.

10) After living a full life where you have accomplished all of your goals, you find it is your last day on Earth. You are provided a last meal consisting of whatever food and beverage you choose. What do you order? Fajitas with all the fixings and a glass of red table wine. Simplicity is best, plus it would remind me of a common meal I've shared with my family often in my life.

The Bechdel Test for Women in Movies

2010-06-06T08:27:00.000-06:00

Finally! I have been saying this very thing for years! Why aren't more women offended by this?
Please take the time to watch this (its only 2 minutes!) and comment your reaction.

On being a "good" parent

2010-05-28T22:05:00.000-06:00

As most of you know, I am the mother of two little ones. A three year old and a seven week old. Eek!
As a mother in 2010, I am all too familiar with all the current trends in parenting. Call me selfish, call me old fashioned, call me lame, but I don't subscribe to most of these trends. Really, most of my experience comes from my three year old, who so far is a pretty nifty kid. I don't by any means claim to have it all figured out, but I find that lots of these trends are annoying and unnecessary. I never taught her all the sign language stuff that seems to be so popular and this kiddo has a vocabulary on her that is amazing. I never fed her baby food because I think it's expensive and her Dr. in N.M. said it was totally fine to feed her whatever we ate, mashed up. As a result, she ate green chile (she was born in New Mexico after all), vegetables and anything we gave her, and even now at the "finicky threes" her favorite foods are spinach and salsa. Maybe I've just been lucky with a child who is smart and accommodating, but I find that all these battles parents go through are somewhat pointless. My parenting style is fairly laid back, which has caused problems sometimes, but really, I think we have it easy. She goes to bed when she's tired (usually between 8-9 p.m.) we have quiet time on an "as needed basis". She doesn't attend pre-school but she knows all her colors, shapes, numbers up to 20 and is working on alphabet/letter recognition. What I hate is how other parents somehow look down on me for being non traditional or trendy. I find lots of moms are horrified that she isn't in preschool yet. They don't seem to understand my aversion to putting her in a classroom before she needs to be in one. I figure she has at least 17 years or school ahead of her (primary and secondary) so let her enjoy a few years of freestyle learning. I figure I can teach her the basics like colors and shapes and numbers. I mean, I did go to college. I think I can handle this... She spends lots of time with her peers, so why regulate her so early in life? She is THREE for ******sakes! Let her be.
Not that I'm bitter or anything. :p
Thoughts?

Working out

2010-05-27T10:45:00.000-06:00

So, I have gained a lot of weight over the last three years or so. Most of it began when I got pregnant with my first, although to be fair, I didn't try and lose in between that pregnancy and the last one.
So now, I am paying for it.
I used to HATE working out, but oddly enough I think having a newborn and a three year old has created the perfect storm to get me to the gym.
See, going to the gym is an hour and a half of quiet, ME time.
Nobody is pulling on my leg for a snack. Nobody wants access to my boobs for a snack either. It's just me, and the bike, or treadmill or whatever I choose. There are days that I all but run out the door to go work out.
For once in my life I am actually enjoying the workout for the sake of the workout. Of course I'd like to lose a gazillion pounds and be a size 3 (which I haven't been since MIDDLE SCHOOL) but that is NOT going to happen. I get that. I just like how I feel after I spend an hour on the elliptical. (an hour might be a generous time estimation, more like 45 minutes is all I can handle...)
Now if i could just get my diet a little healthier, I think results are inevitable.
What is your fitness routine? What are your motivations for doing it?

Reflecting on kindness

2010-05-17T02:46:00.000-06:00

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
--Plato

Recently, a friend and I were talking about a certain aspect of both our personalities that troubles us. The tendency to be judgmental and uncharitable when it comes to other people.
I know that I for sure have trouble showing grace to those I deem to be "wrong". It is something I have always struggled with, and something I desperately want to overcome. My husband is so much better at putting this into perspective and at practicing kindness than I am. He recently told me that he tries mightily to see the best in people, no matter what. What a challenge, really. It's easy to try and see the best in people you really like, but what about seeing the best in those who reject you? Those who hurt you? Those who seem not to have much "best" left in them. What a challenge for me to push beyond my already made perceptions and love people as I should. Extend a compassionate heart instead of a bitter one.
Jesus did this for me. Can I follow His example?

Lord Save Us From Your Followers - New Trailer - Opens Sept 25th!

2010-05-12T11:25:00.000-06:00

I am excited to see this!

Back to the grind

2010-05-03T08:29:00.000-06:00

*A little catching up first*

For my own sanity, I think it's time to at least make an effort to write regularly. I've learned that keeping a blog is less about my audience (mostly because I don't really have one!) and more about getting me to get my thoughts/opinions/fears out on virtual paper in a space that isn't judgmental or offensive to anyone.
And so, since I am running on very little sleep these days, I plan to use a new creativity tool called Imagination Prompt. Thanks to fellow blogger Karen for the link!
Basically, the app gives you a topic to write on. Here is my first one:
10 things I've done or said that I'm proud of
Um. Let's modify that to ONE thing, and I think we are in business.

*actual blog post*
There are lots of little things I am proud of in my life, and a few big things too. For right now I'd like to focus on our move. Both my Mr. and I grew up in the same small town. We have always lived close to our families and been quite dependent on them. Dare I say too much so? The Hispanic culture we grew up in, mixed in with lots of religion and homeschooling fosters this closeness. It's not all bad. Thats why when my husband got the opportunity to put his name in for a transfer to a little town outside of New Orleans, Louisiana, it gave us both pause. Well, okay, mostly me. Immediately, I started thinking of MYSELF. I knew I wouldn't be working if we moved, because of the kiddos, and all I could think was "Awesome. I am going to be stuck at home all day with two little ones in a completely foreign place. I won't know anyone. I'll probably wear sweats everyday and forget to comb my hair. I hate seafood! The humidity there is ridiculous!" (the last two are actually very very true...)
Well, the point is this: We moved. And I did it. I stay at home with my kids and I like it. It's hard sometimes, but I can do it. My anxiety pills are not needed. I made friends here. We have made a life here. And I am proud of that.

Vice President Joe Biden Drops Most Memorable F-Bomb Ever

2010-03-23T19:53:00.000-06:00

Vice President Joe Biden Drops Most Memorable F-Bomb Ever

Well, it is!

Can't wait for all the righties to jump on this one...

Dirty Secret #205

2010-03-21T09:08:00.000-06:00

This blog is a good forum for me to explore the many discrepencies in my personal viewpoint. Here is one that really bugs me.

I don't like Michelle Obama.

What! Aren't you like, a HUGE Barack Obama supporter? (Yes!) Don't you love it that Michelle is an independant success, a saavy career woman and a devoted mother too? (Absolutely!) And doesn't she project a super chic and modern image, befitting of a first lady in 2010? (Yes, her style is KILLER!)

Um. I still don't really like her. When she speaks it rubs me the wrong way. I can't even put my finger on it, because I don't really disagree with the things she says. It's her attitude that bugs me. She seems to lack humility. Is it that I think a successful black woman should be humble and grateful that she has "gotten so far"? I've thought of this, and the answer is no. I dislike Hillary Clinton for the same reason. Often confident women come across as arrogant. I am not sure if this is the reason I dislike her. Maybe its just my problem somehow.

I am making it clear that I don't dislike her based on her policies. I don't dislike her based on her appearance. All I know is, it bugs me to listen to her speak. There, I said it. I'd love to hear your theories as to why this is the case, because I am having a hard time coming up with a valid reason.

What about Marriage?

2010-03-17T14:31:00.000-06:00

Just finished one of those mind altering books. The book is called Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace With Marriage by Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love).

She talks about how our (American/Western) views on marriage are very very different from other cultures and this explains our high divorce rate and general confusion towards marriage in general. While many cultures view marriage as a social contract, we base it on the tenuous bond of "love" which is subjective to say the least. She also takes a frank look at the womens movement and its impact on "traditional" marriage. I particularly liked this book because Gilbert explores pretty much every angle of marriage. She doesn't take just one stand, but offers all the pros and cons she encountered and concludes with what she personally took from all these differing points of views. She wasn't afraid to present the dubious argument that women would be better off with less rights and say when it comes to marriage, but she also wasn't afraid to say that this school of thought was never going to fly with her. It was a very fair representation of both sides of the marriage coin.

Personally, I have always been of the (unpopular) opinion that there does not exist just one "soul mate" out there for each person. I believe that there are compatible people, and incompatible people and relationships take work. I have seen people make it work with both types, and I've seen people divorce when it gets to be too much. I was never one of those people who felt that marriage would "complete" me. It still sometimes surprises me how my life has settled into this unlikely lifestyle of being stay at home wife and mother, because it was not something I ever though I wanted. I still have angst about it sometimes, but I also recognize that for right now, it's what's best for my family. Is this me giving up on my dreams? I'd say no, because I am making this choice with my eyes wide open. I also recognize that the time for childbearing (for me anyway) is now, and that my children won't need me in the sense they do/will for the new few years forever. I am okay with that. I also recognize that I wouldn't be able to pull this off without the spouse I have, and the marriage we have created for ourselves.

Growing up, I was taught that all marriages should follow a certain set of rules set forth by the church. As a seasoned married person (five whole years! gosh!) I am learning that each couples marriage is different and that is okay. In fact, as Gilbert so succinctly pointed out, the idea of marriage as a whole is based on evolution. Marriage today is nothing like it was 50 years ago, 100 years ago or 1000 years ago. She points out that the recent push for "traditional marriage" is really quite silly.

No matter if one is thinking about marriage, vehemently against it, married or unmarried, I think if more women read this book, they would be able to have a more educated view of marriage as a whole, and its impact on our culture.

Now this is funny

2010-03-08T10:46:00.000-07:00

One of my friends linked this site, and gosh, it's funny stuff! Thankful I wasn't alive in the 70's to see the birth of disgusting trendy food. I seriously can't believe Weight Watchers thought these "recipes" were nutritious, much less appetizing! Enjoy.

http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards/beanmushroom.html

Just click it.

Cupcake Heaven

2010-03-06T07:06:00.000-07:00

Wandering around the French Quarter in Nola one afternoon this week, I came across this really cute little cupcake shop. Of course, I fancy myself a cupcake connoisseur, so I made it a point to stop in. (Also I am kind of hugely pregnant so little baked treats are especially important to me.) The girl behind the counter was charming, and she explained that she was running a bit low on inventory. No problem, I assured her. I'd find something! I purchased one strawberry (for my 3 year old) and one lemon (for me!). She packaged them in a cute little box and we were on our way. Later that evening, when we ate our treats, I was amazed at how good they are! Lots of cupcake bakeries have sprung up, and I have noticed that often the quality isn't so great. They may LOOK really cute, but the taste is usually meh. Too dry, too dense, the icing too much like sweetened lard. But not these! Light! Fluffy! Made with real pieces of strawberry and lemon zest! Real butter cream frosting! I was in preggy pop heaven.
If you are ever in Nola, do stop in.

You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so s*-faced last night, I shouldn't have f*** that guy?' We could be that mistake!

2010-02-27T10:34:00.000-07:00

When I watch most comedy genre movies lately (read: in the last 10 years that I have been watching popular movies) I find that I have lost my sense of humor.
It's gone. Movies can't make me laugh.
Why? I admit my sense of humor isn't the first thing people note about me, but surely I am not this dour prude I become when I watch movies like Sex Drive, Superbad, Knocked Up or any other popular comedy.
I mean, pretty much everyone else in the WORLD thinks these movies are hilarious, why do they offend me? Honestly? I find them disgusting. Sexist. Loathsome. Nasty. Nauseating. Obnoxious. Obscene. Um, you get the picture.
Always, there are women being portrayed as sex crazed bimbos. Always women are dressed with their lady parts hanging out. Always they are too attractive for their male counterparts. I am so sick of it, I don't even want to deal with it anymore, so I opt for not watching this genre at all. I hate how easily this sort of thing offends me, because I am really not a prude. I just don't like my gender to be portrayed in such a one dimensional way. One step up from image of women represented in porn. (A whole other subject, except not really...)
I can't write this blog post without confessing that there is one contradiction to my solid argument against these movies: I kind of like the American Pie movies. I know, these movies pretty much embody all the things I just mentioned. My husbands derives much pleasure of reminding me of this dirty secret when I rage against sexism. I can't really explain why I like them, but I can try I guess. I think if I watched the AP movies today for the first time, I would be offended as usual. But I watched them as a teenager, and kind of related to the characters and found the situations amusing. Doesn't make the movie in any way less sexist. I've changed since I was 17, and I'd hope that my tastes reflect that. If anything, watching AP now just reminds me of the late 90's and all the hilarity that it ensued. It's nostalgic. But still very very sexist.

Suggestions on some non sexist comedies I can check out?

Related Links:
Gender Goggles
Feministing.com

Segregation in the South

2010-02-24T19:47:00.000-07:00

Okay so, I've only been in the South for a few months, but I have noticed a very interesting/disturbing trend: Segregation.
I don't want to say its like this everywhere in the South, but in this little town I have noticed that blacks and whites keep VERY separate. There is one black family at the church I sometimes attend, none at the story time group or play group we attend. I realize my experiences are mostly limited, but I find it interesting none the less. While I have never heard anyone say anything outright racist, I wonder at this trend, given the population of blacks in the area.
Now if we were back in the Southwest, you'd know that minorities are celebrated freely mix together. This is the attitude I've grown up with, and frankly, I like it. I love that we have a black president, and am sad that up until now we've always had white males in power. I want that to change.
While the official definition of segregation is surely over, the subtle after effects seem to still linger on. Somebody needs to explain this to me, because I really can't understand why it is that in 2010, these attitudes persist.

Lukewarm acceptance is more bewildering than outright rejection.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I luv Colin

2010-02-22T09:48:00.000-07:00

I managed to catch Colin Powells interview on Face The Nation yesterday. It seems to me that he is one of the last reasonable, thoughtful politicians of our age. He doesn't succumb to the recent alarmist misinformation propigated by many in his party. He knows his stuff. I loved when he said this:

He cautioned fellow conservatives who call President Obama a socialist, saying rough-and-tumble politics is nothing new, but to constantly criticize without attempting to offer new ideas is not productive.

"Have we so lost our faith in this country that we think one person, one man, can suddenly change our entire system?" Powell asked. "That's kind of absurd."

If all discussions on politics could be this composed and rational I think we would be in much better shape as a nation.

back in black

2010-02-20T09:48:00.000-07:00

It's been too long, blog land. I admit, I let life overwhelm and nearly drown me for a few months. We moved to another state. We are having another baby. There are days I don't want to get out of bed, and days that I can't wait to. My life is just a series of unpredictable events right now, all the while managing to stay pretty boring. I am learning a lot about myself in this time of almost isolation. Some of it I love. Some of it I hate.
I am learning mundane things like keeping house, and how to cook better. I am not as bored as I expected to be.
For now, that's all there is going on, but more later. Maybe.

looooooooove!

2009-07-10T20:41:00.000-06:00

Passed over Scriptures

2009-07-08T09:16:00.000-06:00

Matthew 23:15 (New International Version)
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are.

I am struggling to understand the meaning of the words of Jesus (above) and how they pertain to us today. I have often said I believe that the Pharisees are equal to modern day Christians.

I grew up in the church, so I can only speak from my own experiences. In all my years in church, I can name less than six people who actually modeled themselves after Christ. Who actually taught me about God's very nature. Someday soon, I will write about these six people. Without them, I would have turned my back on the whole notion of Christianity long ago.

The Pharisees knew Gods Word inside and out.
They prided themselves on being pure and untouched by worldly things.
The Pharisees used the scriptures to manipulate people and gain control, they used the scriptures as a smorgasbord, they took what they liked and hid what they didn't like.
They encouraged buying and selling in God's temple.
The Pharisees used scripture to put themselves on a pedestal.
They loved to greet each other in the marketplace and show to all how holy they were.

(Matt 23)

Does any of this sound familiar to you? I feel like I am talking about people in a couple of local churches in my area. Maybe I am.

In Matt 7, Jesus said: "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'"

Its all spelled out in His words. Why why why is it being ignored? My heart is heavy and mourns for so many of the people I have known over the years. I am sorrowful because I don't know how to minister to them. Their hearts are hardened and they don't even realize it.

"The church is in great danger from modern Phariseeism. The problem with fighting it, is that it looks so good. Like the original Pharisees, legalists in the modern church say and do so many good things. It is hard to criticize them without being accused of "un-Christ like behavior." But the "good" of legalism/Phariseeism, is strictly superficial. It masks a deadly commitment to human law-making and superficial religion that will destroy many who fall into its clutches. Very few are able to escape legalism."

Growing Pains

2009-06-18T08:16:00.000-06:00

I am aware that often my criticisms of Christian culture can be wearisome. I know also from experience that my beliefs can be deeply offensive to some as well. My goal is not to disparage irrisponsibly every Christian culture facet, but instead I wish I could beg and plead with people to really read their bibles. To really see what Jesus was all about. I am sometimes so horrified and discouraged at how far the modern "church" has come from the basics of the gospel that I do come off as harsh or judgmental. I long for others to step out of their self congragalatory church circles and actually reach out to a hurting world. To get down in the trenches with a person with AIDS, even if it means they are gay. To offer their love and support to someone who might have had pre-martial sex or gotten a divorce.
I hear Christians all the time talk about how they are called to make disciples of all men. Many seem to think that the best way to do this, is find someone who looks like they clearly need help (lets take a homeless person as an example) and give them a track and offer to pray of them, the end. There was no relationship formed with the homeless person. No practical ministering to that persons particular need. You can ask any non Christian who has recieved one of these tracks how they felt about it, and the answer would be the same. They felt assaulted by a drive by "do gooder". They felt angry that the person didn't make any effort to actually help them, but expected a 12 page instructional booklet to do the trick. Most Christians don't know this, because they never speak to the person after delivering the tiny missive. The only other thing that they could do that might possibly be worse is offer an airy "I'll pray for you" before jetting off to their next project.
Its examples like these that make me seem like I am antagonistic towards Christians.
I wish for nothing more than to encourage my fellow Christians to stop for just a moment, and think about what Jesus would think about their approach. Really seek his will. For just a few minutes, tune out what your pastors at your church are saying, put on hold what your peers are telling you, let go of your doctrines and and canons and seek out God's voice.
I think your answer might be different than what you expect.

A movie post?

2009-06-07T00:38:00.000-06:00

I just saw Revolutionary Road, and it was brilliant.
Now anyone who knows me at all would agree that I am not so much a movie person. I have a really short attention span and a short tolerance for drivel that wastes my time. (In film form anyway). So all of that to say I usually never even sit through a movie, much less finish the movie and want to write about it.
But this movie was differnt. It was visionary, and honest and such a stark example of reality in this country during the 1950's. Specifically the reality for most women during this time. As its no secret that my grandparents, who married in the 50's and divorced in the late 70's, I have always been particularly interested in this trend that began a whole two generations ago.
During a time that social mores and gender roles were so limited, I've often reflected that there must have been more under the surface. I'm sure that despite what Dr. Dobson thinks, humans have not just recently acquired the ability to be immoral, and selfish and alone. I think that although our culture today is degraded and corrupt, it is just an outward indication of something that has always been eating away at humanity.

Basic human nature.

I guess all of this to say that no matter where we are in the scheme of linear time, no matter where are culturally, geografically, and any other constraint you can imagine, we all have the same basic need. A simple plea to be saved.

BE the church

2009-04-21T09:50:00.000-06:00

I am really tired of people choosing Church over Relationships. I have heard people turn down invites to gatherings of family or friends, in favor of Church. Isn't spending time with ones family more important than attending yet another church service? Why are people so loyal to the idea of church but will happily turn their back on someone in need on the street? Why will people go to church three or four times a week, but continually act unloving towards those who they consider to be sinful or wicked?
Why has church become a form of bondage for many?
Why is Jesus never even mentioned when people talk about church?
I only have questions, no answers.

“Church isn’t where you meet. Church isn’t a building. Church is what you do. Church is who you are. Church is the human outworking of the person of Jesus Christ. Let’s not go to Church, let’s be the Church.”
-Bridget Willard

Being Content

2009-04-13T09:53:00.000-06:00

He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home.

-Johann Von Goethe

Since the beginning of the year, I have been reminded over and over that being content is important. I have a nasty habit of always comparing my life to others, of always looking to the future for my happiness. The truth is, if i am not content and happy TODAY in this moment, what makes me think I will be tomorrow? Its right now that matters. Paul said in Philippians 4:11 "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." He touched on something that is key to a "happy" life. For me, being content is a choice, more than anything. I have a beautiful family who loves me, all of my physical needs are met, and a God who loves me too. What more could I want? It makes the newest Ipod, a bigger house, better furniture, a bigger better car all seem kind of superfluous, wouldn't you agree?

May Angels Lead You In

2009-03-05T20:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marked one year since my friend and colleague Staff Sgt. Christopher Frost was killed in the war. Even though its been a year, it still makes as little sense today as the day I first heard the news. I wish I could see his face just one more time.
I miss you Chris.

Same old struggles

2009-03-03T17:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get weary.
I know the bible exhorts us not to be weary, but sometimes I feel my soul just aching with the imperfections of this world. Its easy to focus on the negatives. My own and those of everyone else. I struggle with my faith. I struggle with doubts. Sometimes I struggle just to smile and be content. Things that came easier once. I know that the dry seasons can be just as rewarding as the rain, but sometimes I lose sight of that. I am reminded of the late poet and song writer Rich Mullins who so simply but earnestly wrote

sometimes my life
just don't make sense at all
when the mountains look so big
and my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
won't You be my Prince of Peace

That is my prayer today, and it can be yours too if you are feeling the same way.
Psalms 119:28 My soul is weary with sorrow: strengthen me according to your word.

A culture that values women?

2009-02-11T09:04:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been learning more about traditional and noveu Mexican culture. One of the most interesting things I have learned involves a coming of age party that most Mexican young women celebrate. This party, known as a "Quinceanera", commemerates a young girls transition from girlhood to woman hood. Wiki says:

The Quinceañera (turning fifteen years old) is, for Latinas, a girl's celebration of her fifteenth birthday, which is commemorated in a different way from her other birthdays. The celebration highlights God, family, friends, music, food, and dance. The celebration traditionally begins with a religious ceremony. A reception is held in the celebrant's home or a banquet hall. The festivities include food and music, and in most, a choreographed waltz or another dance performed by the Quinceañera and her father. In some ceremonies, the girl will be wearing flats and will change into heels during the party to symbolize her coming-of-age

Typically, it seems most cultures celebrate the MALE child who is maturing. Not much is usually said about a woman reaching that stage. How wonderful for a young woman to be taught not only to value her chastity and innocence, but to celebrate her entering into adulthood. I seriously love this idea and plan on throwing Lydia our own version of a very special tradition :)

From Facebook

2009-01-29T12:59:00.000-07:00

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. Writing about myself is both fun and stressful because I don't think I am that interesting.

2. After 3 years of spanish classes, my spanish was terrible. After 3 months of working with spanish speakers, my spanish is quite good.

3. I recently have met my inner houswife. She actucally enjoys doing laundry and cleaning the house. Go figure!

4. Jessica (wee jess) is my oldest and most loved/missed friend.

5. If I could have another labor like I had with Lydia, I would have another baby in a heart beat. It's the 9 months prior that makes me say NO WAY!

6. I find most people who are "christian" to be unkind, unloving and unChristlike. With a few notable exceptions.

7. I am addicted to shopping in Sephora. I frequent the website or the store at least once a week.

8. With the exception of Jana and the Cranberries, all my favorite bands/singers are male.

9. I have never had long, luxurious hair. Maybe this year will be the year I don't succumb to the scissors.

10. My favorite thing ever is Sunday mornings at our house. We make coffee and read the paper in bed with our daughter. Nothing else compares.

11. I love a fresh box of crayons.

12. If I start reading a book, no matter how poorly written I deem it, I HAVE to finish it.

13. Someday I will live in France.

14. If my toes aren't painted, I feel dumpy.

15. Being the boss at work is harder than I like to admit.

16. For all our faults and stress, my husband and I are best friends and lovers no matter what.

17. Having PRK last year changed my life.

18.One of my best friends is the most physically beautiful person I have ever met.

19. I love cooking authentic New Mexican comfort food.

20. Someone who was a pillar in my life as a child and young adult is suddenly almost completely out of my life. it has left me a bit lost.

21. I want to see the world, but I love being home.

22. My daughter is THE smartest/prettiest/funniest child I have ever known.

23. My mister and I don't wear wedding rings.

24. If I didn't color my hair, I'd be about 30% grey.

25. I like to buy sheets and towels.

Absent

2009-01-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

I suppose my absence from blog land has lasted long enough. I have lots to say, but not much faith that saying it will change anything. I have been in a dis-associative state of mind for the past few months. Just struggling to keep my real life going. One of my goals for 2009 is to work on being CONTENT. I often find myself looking to the future, instead of living in the present.
This is a short post, but its a start.

A place of Love

2008-08-23T10:01:00.000-06:00

I am a big believer in the concept of LOVE. Many of you have heard me say that my religion is love. I believe that Jesus was the best example of love.
With that said, I realize that I often struggle to practice what I preach. The other day I heard someone say a phrase that has echoed in my head ever since. A woman was advising her friend to approach a certain situation from "a place of love". The more I thought about it, the more I realized that approaching everything from a place of love should be my goal.
Though this may sound lofty and esoteric, I want to learn how to apply this philosophy to my everyday life. Am I approaching my interactions with my husband and child from a place of love? Usually. Sometimes. Am I approaching the pressures of my job and the idiosyncrasies of my co-workers from a place of love? Sometimes. Rarely.
Here is a quote by Julia Butterfly Hill that inspires me and humbles me:

The common language being spoken is often one of fear. So I am trying to be a holistic practitioner, and my medicine is the language of love, which creates a space where all people can sit down together. Our world is literally dying for us to become emissaries of love, and that love has to be based in every thought, every word, every action. I’ve been blessed to see real miracles happen in that space. But when I fall out of my center and begin thinking of a lot of four-letter words—none of them love—you can bet I don’t have nearly as much success.

I love you readers!

deep thoughts for a saturday morning

2008-08-09T09:55:00.000-06:00

As many of you might know, I have been a self-described member of the emergent church since the term was first used several years ago.
Last night I was watching One Punk Under God, the docu-reality show about the life and times of Jay Baker, son of Jim and Tammy Faye Baker. I think his story really appeals to me because I see a bit of my own confusion concerning religion and parent issues in him. My parents weren’t known world wide as fanatical Christians, but they were and still are known throughout this valley and state. My parents didn’t suffer a major scandal, but they weathered several church splits feuds within the Christian community. Like the Bakers, my parents were and still are very passionate about their beliefs. I admire that, though I often disagree with them.

I identify most with Jay Baker in the way that he longs for his parent’s approval and blessing for his ministry even though it is very different than their own. I admire him because he has made the stand not to live a “double life”. He smokes. He has a bazillion tattoos. He reaches out to the gay community. His wife has nothing to do with his ministry beyond supporting him emotionally. He also loves God. He isn’t willing to completely turn his back on his past, even though most would in his situation. He can out-preach his dad any day of the week. He is passionate and kind. Through his hurt filled eyes, I can still see love. Something I rarely see in traditional churchgoers.

It’s obvious that he has not completely come to terms with his background, but I think he is a hell of a lot further than I am. And for that I admire him.

The gift of sight

2008-07-23T21:14:00.001-06:00

An Essay on Sight.
(And a sincere and heartfelt thank you.)

My awareness concerning my vision began when I was 12 years old. My parents suspected that I might need glasses, although I don’t remember complaining of blurriness. I remember being crushed when the eye doctor informed me that I needed glasses and that he had a 2 for one deal going on. It was the early 90’s and I picked out a plastic frame that was huge, bulky and hideous and an equally unattractive gold and tortoise shell frame. In my mind, glasses were ugly, and so it didn’t matter what they looked like. I recall the first day I wore my glasses. I grudgingly marveled at the detail of actual leaves in the trees instead of just a blur. My parents and I lived on a house on a hill, and I was able to look out and see actual wildlife and plants below us, instead of a brown blob that I thought New Mexico was.
But still, I hated my glasses. When I was fourteen, I begged and cajoled my father into allowing me to get contact lenses. As a life long glasses wearer himself, me must have understood he agony of being a teenager and having to wear glasses and relented. I experienced an instant boost of confidence and moved on to obsessing about the braces on my teeth.
For the next 12 years, I faithfully inserted my contact lenses each morning into my tired eyes, and removed them each night. I so rarely wore my glasses that people were often surprised to find that my vision was deteriorating little bits at a time.
When I finally decided to consider vision correction surgery, I was tentative in finally committing to allowing someone handle my eyes in such an intimate and possibly dangerous manner. The fact that I felt completely helpless without my glasses at the ripe old age of 25 made me realize that a change needed to be made.
The days immediately following my surgery were uneventful. I slept a lot, and my vision was poor. Cloudy, hazy images seemed to float in front of my eyes. I worried that I made a bad choice. I reflected that maybe being dependant on contact lenses and glasses wasn’t as horrible as I once thought it was. Alarmed that I would never see as well as I’d hoped to, I worried that I made a bad decision.
And then it happened. I woke up, bleary eyed from a night nursing a sick little one and reached for my glasses to look at the alarm clock. And I could see it. Without glasses. You often hear this example. Of someone being able to see his or her alarm clock without any aid. If you have never experienced that feeling of being so dependent on an object for such a basic sense as sight, you may not understand the clarity of this moment. Suddenly, I could see something I’d never been able to see before. Effortlessly. I ran around my house, pointing at objects excitedly and exclaiming, “I can see that!” I ran around my yard, stooping to stare at my garden, and then staring into the sky. It was like life went from digital to high definition. It was beautiful.
This is the marvel of vision correction, so thank you Dr. Teahan and Viki for making this happen for me.

May angels lead you home

2008-03-21T13:36:00.000-06:00

My heart goes out to the family of my friend and colleague staff sgt. Christopher Frost. I just found out that he was killed in the war earlier this month. I grieve for his two young children and his family. And I pray for this war to end...

help!

2008-02-07T22:54:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,
My little brother is raising money to help kids with cancer. It would mean a lot if you could help out.
Even if it's just a few bucks, it could change someones life!
Just go to
http://www.stbaldricks.org
and click on the "sponsor a participant" link.
do a quick search for Andrew Tabet and the info will come up.
Appreciate it, good people!
-L

We can do no great things, only small things with great love. ~Mother Teresa

The Nazi's on War

2008-02-04T14:58:00.000-07:00

"Naturally the common people don't want war; neither in Russia,nor in
England, nor in America, nor in Germany. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. ...Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country." --Hermann Göring

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermann_G%C3%B6ring

Losing my religion

2008-02-04T13:49:00.000-07:00

The past few years have been an evolution for me. As most of you have probably picked up on, I was raised an extremely Christian fundamentalist home. I was taught that gay people are on the same par with pedophiles and that Gandhi was a bad person. I believe my parents meant well in what they taught me, but I also strongly disagree with this mindset of "us (Christians) versus them (non Christians).
When I was in college, I embraced a world where all things Christian were not relevant. As i matured though, I found that I was not willing to give up all of my former beliefs and began to study the Bible and try and decipher for myself what I believe. That’s when things really started to happen in my life. Things that made me question everything I was taught as a child, and ultimately things that helped me shape my belief system as it stands today.
I began to look at things from a radically different point of view than my parents, while still holding on to the same basics. (I believe that Jesus died for my sins, I believe he rose again, I believe I'm going to heaven because I have been chosen by God and because I have faith in the promises outlined in the Bible.)
I think it's more about the things that I don't believe that have caused me so much grief when speaking with my family or friends who still consider themselves "traditional" Christians. I don't see anywhere in the Bible that condones mixing politics and religion. In fact, quite the opposite. I don't think Jesus’ message was that of exclusion and legalism but of acceptance and freedom. I don't think it makes me a bad person to label myself a feminist (someone who believes in rights for women), and I don't think being one makes me a "bad" Christian woman. These are just some examples to show you where I am coming from. It frustrates me to see the teachings of the most amazing God/Man on the planet being trivialized to the point that people are arguing if He was a democrat or a Republican. It hurts me to think that there are people out there who think that Jesus wants us to be at war with another country over oil and democracy. I know Christians who have no problem talking about killing another human, as long as that other human is a different religion and creed than they are. These are the things that make me angry and often I can't articulate these beliefs without letting my emotions get in the way.
So, if you are one of the people who think that I have lost my way as a Christian, than please read this post and try and understand where my heart is on these issues. I used to worry that this passage in the bible would be true for me. These days my heart grieves that it will be true for those who think they are doing God's work.

This revolving life

2008-01-14T17:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it seems like I am going full speed ahead and I forget about sleeping late and drinking a leisurely morning coffee. I don't have time to write about all the beauty in my life because I barely notice it. An early sunrise or Lydias toddling fist steps brings me crashing back to this gorgeous life I have. The one with all the love and beauty I could ask for. Let the world wage war and drown in excess. I have a simple peaceful life.
And I am grateful.

A picture of L by her Daddy

2008-01-06T21:29:00.001-07:00

to my husband

2007-12-22T21:35:00.000-07:00

I like drinking plum wine with you
and talking about Proust and Tolstoy and Jesus
I wish it wasn't us against the world
but since it is, I'm glad you're on my side

Jeanne get your gun

2007-12-10T19:19:00.000-07:00

It was a sad day for charasmatic christians in Colorado yesterday. I was troubled to hear about the shootings at a ministry in Denver, and then later at New Life Church in Colorado Springs. The church has been in the spotlight before, as you may remember.
As you probably heard in the news, a New Life security guard named Jeanne Assam shot and killed the gunman. I am so glad she was able to stop him from killing more innocent people. This blog is about two questions I have.
1) Why are church security guards carrying guns around?
2) Why is no one else in the media asking question!?!
Call me strange, but I find it very unusual that people are fine with the fact that people who work at the house of G-d (or what the percieve as the house of G-d) carry armed weapons. Seems a bit un-Jesus like.
But I guess in this case it payed off.
What a world.

materialistic bohemians

2007-12-09T20:04:00.000-07:00

I know lots of people who believe we live in a society that is too materialistic. People who think our focus on capitalisem is a bad thing. I am one of these people. I believe this country is based on consumerism and greed, and I try to do what I can not to subscribe to that lifestyle. I also know that I haven't arrived yet. I still sometimes catch myself saying "someday when i'm rich". I'm working on it, but it's the truth.
What bugs me is all these so called bohemians who believe that money is the root of all evil, yet live their life centered around expensive clothes, drinks and food.
I guess I am thinking of a recent situation in which I asked one of my aquantinces to take some photos of my daughter. This individual has been vocal about his desire to live a life "outside the american dream". He seemed to be sincere. This same individual also charged me a whopping $150 bucks to take a few snapshots of my kiddo. He said it was a discounted rate for a "friend".
Some friend! If money means nothing to him (another quote!) Why would he demand the money 5 seconds after he stopped shooting?
I'm probably being petty and cheap, but hey, I was miffed.
This concludes my post about greedy Americans.
G'Night!

A rare personal post

2007-11-07T18:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry for my month long absence. Quite a lot has happened over the last thirty days. The biggest thing being that we moved!
After being in our home for over two years, we realized that trying to keep up with an adjustable rate mortgage was a losing battle. We decided to sell. Instead of buying another house, at a time when we aren't really sure what we want to do with our lives just yet, much less where in this world we want to do it, we decided to find a place to rent. By renting, we realized we could actually save money, instead of just scraping by every month like we had been. We looked at several places in the city (Albuquerque) to rent, and found that even the more shoddy places were still renting out for more than we were wanting to pay. Thats when we grudgingly decided to look further south, closer to where the mister and I both grew up. Belen is small, and frankly, kind of crappy. But it is also very affordable. We found a house that we fell in love with to rent, and have decided to spend the next year down here getting our savings to where we want it.
Long story to say hey! We moved!

From one baby friend to another

2007-10-02T17:04:00.001-06:00

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

The Pick Up Artist

2007-09-26T16:46:00.000-06:00

No, I'm not talking about the Molly Ringwald flick, I'm talking about VH1's newest, most sexist show yet. Yes, I'd even rank it more sexist than Flavor of Love.
Why?
A creepy asexual man named MYSTERY takes a bunch of loser men (boys) and teaches them how to seduce women. He advises against giving compliments to "undeserving women" and the art of "negging" which consists of demeaning the woman to let her know you aren't desprate.
Wait, don't most men already operate under these procedures? Why do they need a show to teach them to be bigger jerks than they already are?
My favorite part The Pick Up Artist was when they showed the nerds how to "pick up" a stripper. As if that is difficult. Picking up women who earn money to take their clothes off and market sex doesn't seem too difficult. I'd rather see them try and pick up a self respecting woman and see how well their "negging" works.
Sometimes I hate people!
More junk.

The interviewer gets interviewed

2007-09-14T17:36:00.000-06:00

I was contacted to lend my quotes for an article about the demise of Jane Magazine earlier this month. The article is here:
Jane Magazine Story.
What fun it was to be on the other side of the interview process!
Nice job David.

Just something we did today

2007-09-09T21:20:00.001-06:00

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

I love our government.

2007-09-05T17:43:00.000-06:00

Comforting.

Romance for Idiots

2007-08-30T22:31:00.000-06:00

Coming and going, I see you in all the wrong places. You are fueling up, buying coffee, listening to your i-pod. Once in a while a memory of your face surfaces so instantly that I am not prepared for the sharp pain it still brings, after all this time. All I want is a little warning. All I want is to remember something good. Erase all those empty moments, all those questions. Let me remember your good looks and your lazy grin. Let me remember your big feet and your slender fingers. I'd rather remember the times I hurt you rather than the times your hurt me. I'd rather not think about you at all.

I hope you're resting quietly tonight.

Bla bla bla bla bla

2007-08-25T22:53:00.000-06:00

I am finding it increasingly difficult to relate to and have conversations with the vapid people in my life. And believe me, there are quite a few these days. You know the type. They prattle on endlessly about their lives. "And HE said this, and I said THIS, and then he...." They complain and lament and don't let you get a word in edgewise. Maybe I am being intolerant. Maybe I am just as annoying to some people, but seriously. I'm done.
I have worked on my tuning out skills and I plan to use them more.
If you are reading this, you probably aren't one of the "vapids". But just in case, check yourself.
And yes, vapid is my new favorite word.
That is all.

A lesson from science

2007-08-13T21:10:00.000-06:00

So I found this story on MSN today. The headline: "Quit complaining - it may make you feel worse"

The article claims that while voicing your frustrations is a natural way of dealing with them, we should but watch out for when a conversation dissolves into a "bitch session". Talking your problems to death can make you feel even worse.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20185446/from/ET

I have found this to be true. Even though I constantly struggle with complaining to others, I have found that both in my professional relationships and my personal ones, complaining about the situation rarely makes things better. At work, I have made a real effort not to jump in whole-heartedly when others are complaining (although I have been known to make a well placed snide comment.)

I think its interesting that as women, we are told that talking things out is always the answer. There is rarely a distiction made between healthy talking and unhealthy complaining.

I feel like right now I am complaining about complaining.......

Hmm...

Indian Progress

2007-07-23T08:40:00.000-06:00

Congratulations to Pratibha Patil, the newest president of India, and a woman.
I find it telling that a country like India, with ramant discrimination against women, would elect a woman president before a supposedly "progressive" nation like the United States.
Although I think there are many factors that hinder women in the states, to me, the biggest problem is popular culture and the way women are potrayed in movies and television. Show me a movie (directed, produced and made in the US) that doesn't objectify women. That doesnt show them as either a vamped up sexual being, or a complaining, shallow harpy. There are FEW movies that show women as powerful, without relying on their sexuality to make them so.
I think this is why our only presidental candidate that is a woman has gotten so much controversy. Don't get me wrong, I will NOT be voting for Hillary. But my decision not to vote for her is based in her politics and her voting record, not her appearance. I have heard men comment on her "fuckability" and have heard women critisize her hair and fashion sense. I haven't heard the same comments directed towards the other (male) candidates.
But what else can we expect from our nation when movies like "The 40 Year Old Virgin" are wildly popular, and our national heros include Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton.
I want more for my daughter. Don't you?

Gratitude

2007-07-21T08:35:00.000-06:00

I know I reference PostSecret.com a lot, but last week there were some great ones. My favorite:

Even though I don't always act it, I am so grateful for my family.

These secrets

2007-07-08T21:43:00.000-06:00

This secret on todays Postsecret.com made me tear up today.
I love my husband so much, but I have wondered what it would be like to have married into a different family. The family that loved me and accepted me and cared about me when I was just the girlfriend. The family that still sends me emails and gifts for my baby. Breaking up with someone is hard. Breaking up with their family is sometimes just as hard. I hope the girl he married knows how lucky she is to have that.

sorri

2007-06-16T13:28:00.000-06:00

I just haven't had much to say lately. Busy with baby (who is almost crawling!) and home renovations (right now the floor is made of cement and glue. NOT attractive), and work (training to be an optician) and lots of other day to day stuff.
Something new is getting to know my birth brother. It is really odd to me to meet someone who is so similar to me. From the inflection of our speech, to the music we like, we are very much the same person. Since I didn't grow up with him, and actually didn't even know of his existence until I was almost 18, I just find it strange, but very cool. Brings up the whole nature vs. nurture topic, which has me thinking a lot about my birth mother and how thankful I am that nurture seemed to have won out in that scenario.
Yes, I am still on that subject. Now you can see why I am not that inclinced to write lately.
Miss you all, and promise to visit soon.
-L

Goodbye and Good Luck

2007-05-15T17:15:00.000-06:00

Part of what was wrong with Christianity in America died today. Jerry Falwell died in his office today at 73. While I am not pleased that he is dead, I am pleased that his days of promoting his particular breed of Christian propaganda is finally over. While people like James Dobson and Pat Robertson live on and will continue to tell American Christians how to vote and how to think, one voice in this angry chorus has finally been silenced. Being a Christian in this country today is very different than it was 20 years ago. With the wake of the "Moral Majority" Falwell became the face of the religious right in the 80's. As his popularity grew, so did organizations like "The 700 Club" and "Focus on the Family". What I find most dangerous about these organizations is their insistence on getting into the political realm. Jesus was clear that Government and God don't really mix, a thought that was echoed by our founders. The religious right in this country have blurred the line between public and sacred life, and that's how we ended up with a president who yes, is against abortion and gay marriage, but who also has a really hard time completing a sentence without the help of a speechwriter. I don't believe that some moral issues (gay rights, abortion, gun control) are more important than other moral issues (lying, killing civilians in Iraq, love and tolerance). It amazes me how many "Christians" have taken what people like Falwell and Dobson have established as "godly" and blindly followed.
I honestly hope God has mercy on his soul.

Happy Mothers Day

2007-05-12T22:49:00.000-06:00

Don't know what to do

2007-05-12T18:30:00.000-06:00

So, I am having an issue that I need advice on. As most of you know, I was adopted as an infant and grew up in a great home. Also, as people who were reading last year know, my biological siblings (1 sis, 1 bro) contacted me in April of 2006. At first I was happy to hear from them because I wanted some answers (mainly medical history stuff, etc).

They are both really unstable people, alcoholics, drug users, etc. Both are VERY needy too. This past year I have kept in touch with them (mostly just taking their calls and allowing them to visit occasionally) but I realized the reason I am keeping in contact with them is because I feel guilty because I have such a great life and they don't.

I decided that i need to cut contact with them for my own emotional well being. Am I doing the right thing? Should I tell them or just stop taking their calls? I feel like if I tell them, they wont understand and continue to contact me, based on other things that have happened in the last year. I am considering changing my phone number. Is that the weinie way out?

What would be the best way to handle this without feeling MORE guilt and being a jerk?

Too many questions, I know. Welcome to my head.

On Church

2007-05-07T10:08:00.000-06:00

In a dramatic turn from my last blog post, I'd like to talk about something a little different.
Church.
I grew up in church. While there were some good things about this (sense of community, mainly) there were far more bad things about it. So bad that I have abandoned going to church almost completely, unless it is a family obligation or holiday. I feel that church caused me to have an unhealthy view of God and Jesus, and my role as a follower of Christ. In church I learned how to be judgmental and exclusive. I didn't learn anything about God's love and how I can translate this unconditional love to the world. I learned that to be a Christian is to be a Republican. I was instructed on how to feel about abortion, gun control and the war on Iraq. I learned that it's okay to hate people, as long as they are gay.
Not a pretty picture right? I have to say, its a common one. I didn't even attend one of those far right southern Baptist type churches either. This was just a regular run of the mill non denominational church.
I decided early on that I don't want my daughter to grow up with these same values. I want her to learn about a God who loves her unconditionally, just like her parents will. A God who has absolutes, yes, but also give grace. I want her to learn how to be the best human being she can be, and not to worry about whether or not the book of Revelation is promoting Pre-trib, Mid-trib or Post-trib.
At this point, I am pretty sure this will have to be accomplished without a traditional church experience.
Recently though, I have been doing some research on the Unitarian Church and the United Church of Christ. While the Unitarian Church seems a bit TOO inclusive for me. (There isn't any sort of standard of conduct at all, which bothers me) I am rather intrigued by the United Church Of Christ's creed. Taken from the website of a UCofC near my home:

Church of the Good Shepherd, United Church of Christ, is an Open and Affirming congregation.

We seek to be inclusive of all persons without regard to age, race, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation,
gender identity, religion, marital status, economic status, or personal ability.

We recognize the diversity of human nature as a part of God’s universal plan,
and affirm all families and relationships founded on love, respect, responsibility and trust.

We welcome into the full life and ministry of our church all those who seek Truth through Christ’s teachings.

This statement alone has me interested enough to try it out.
Thoughts?

Paris Hilton

2007-05-07T09:13:00.000-06:00

I know, most of you are cringing because I am writing about this. Who gives a F*%@# about Paris Hilton?
Um, Me?
I am mostly just interested in the story. Paris gets driving liscense taken away. Paris drives anyway. Paris sentanced to 45 days of jail time. Paris finds this punishment "cruel and unwarrented".
How do people like this even function in the real world? Oh right, in a normal day, someone like Paris Hilton doesn't even come close to functioning in the real world. Starting in June though, she will have 45 uniteruppted days of regular-person treatment. And not just any regular-person. Regular-prisoner-person.
I would be lying if I said this doesn't make me smile in an evil, vindictive, jealous of her fortune kind of way.
I know this goes against every peacey, lovey thing I stand for.
Sorry.

Wind it up

2007-05-04T15:06:00.000-06:00

Last night the mister and I headed over to Journal Pavillion, where we had tickets to the Gwen Stefani Sweet Escape tour. It was SUCH a fun concert, I had a blast! She is sooooooooo pretty live. She did tons of costume changes and had all her little dancers there. FUN!!!
If you get a chance to go, GO!!

"I contacted the escort service to have gals come over to the condo to give me a massage"

2007-04-28T13:37:00.000-06:00

Sources: Aid chief quits over call-girl link
High State Department official Tobias reportedly tied to ‘D.C. madam’ probe

Lovely.

Yummy in my tummy

2007-04-28T09:37:00.000-06:00

Here is what I am making today:
Cream Of Lentil Soup
Ingredients:

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 pound dried lentils
1 medium onion -- chopped
1 clove garlic -- minced
1 medium carrot -- chopped
1 stalk celery -- chopped
3 cups water
1 cup heavy cream
salt
pepper

Preparation:
Soak beans in 6 cups of water overnight; drain. Put beans, onion, garlic, carrot, celery, and water to Crockpot. Cover and cook on LOW setting for 8 to 10 hours. Stir in cream; add salt and pepper to taste.

I am also going to bake some bread to go with it. If you are hungry, come on over :)

secrets

2007-04-23T09:42:00.000-06:00

From Post Secret.

Isn't it funny how some people will never truly go away? I guess thats what love is. It isn't always happy. It doesn't always end in happily ever after. Sometimes it just ends, but never really dissapears. No matter how happy I am now, I will always miss him.
This is my secret.

Bright Eyes Lyrics

2007-04-14T23:21:00.000-06:00

"When The President Talks To God"

When the president talks to God
Are the conversations brief or long?
Does he ask to rape our women’s' rights
And send poor farm kids off to die?
Does God suggest an oil hike
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Are the consonants all hard or soft?
Is he resolute all down the line?
Is every issue black or white?
Does what God say ever change his mind
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
Agree which convicts should be killed?
Where prisons should be built and filled?
Which voter fraud must be concealed
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
I wonder which one plays the better cop
We should find some jobs. the ghetto's broke
No, they're lazy, George, I say we don't
Just give 'em more liquor stores and dirty coke
That's what God recommends

When the president talks to God
Do they drink near beer and go play golf
While they pick which countries to invade
Which Muslim souls still can be saved?
I guess god just calls a spade a spade
When the president talks to God

When the president talks to God
Does he ever think that maybe he's not?
That that voice is just inside his head
When he kneels next to the presidential bed
Does he ever smell his own bullshit
When the president talks to God?

I doubt it

To whom it may concern: It is springtime. It is late afternoon.

2007-04-12T19:41:00.000-06:00

Kurt Vonnegut died yesterday. Whether you loved him or hated him, he made the kind of impact on the literary world that most writers can only dream of. His view on the world was unique. He said things that people have been saying for centuries, but he said them differently. He wasn't afraid to talk about things that we usually shy away from. The creation of the term "Bokononism" is a good example. Although professing athiesm isn't anything new, his take on why people believe in a god and why he didn't struck me as searching more than self rightous. He once said "If Christ hadn't delivered the Sermon on the Mount, with its message of mercy and pity, I wouldn't want to be a human being." Although my first impressions of Vonnegut were none too favorable. (Jaded. Cynic. Cold. I said.) I have slowly come to appreciate his body of work, without actually becoming a fan. He became the voice of a generation. There are a lot of confused (but altruistic) young people tonight cracking open their battered copies of Slaughterhouse Five and marvelling that just like that, one of our modern day heros has passed. I just might be one of them.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut 1922-2007

Slideshow

2007-04-01T23:32:00.000-06:00

When all else fails, baby pictures always perk me up :)

Create a Free Slideshow

" />

Hairs to you

2007-03-25T09:14:00.000-06:00

I cut my hair yesterday. It's short, like I used to have it. It sounds silly, but I feel more like myself now. I hadn't had hair as long as it was since I was a little girl, and I tried it on a lark. (When you are pregnant, your hair grows a lot faster, so thats what prompted the experiment). Its not that I didn't like it, I just never really got used to it. My body and I have gone through so many changes in the last year, that cutting my hair to a pre-baby look is actually comforting. I went to a lecture a long time ago about women and their hair. Womens hair (especially when its long) is often tied up in our sexual identity. I'm not sure if that is the case for me, but my hair definately represents who I am on a personal level. I think I am a little more pre-occupied with hair than most people I know. I am constantly coloring it, cutting it, wrapping it in ribbons/headbands and just being aware of it. I think because many people have told me they wished I had long hair, I am always worried about how it looks. Now that I have tried it long(er), I can honestly say that not only do I not look that great with long hair, I am really uncomfortable with long hair. I hate how Victorias Secret and other society shapers dictate that not only must women have endless, tan legs, flat stomachs and big boobs to be sexy, they also must have long flowing hair.
I'm sexy with my short hair, thank you very much.

Body Irony

2007-03-18T13:23:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I had what I thought was going to be a great conversation with my mom about body image and how we perceive ourselves. And then something went horribly wrong. My mom is not a jerk, or a rude person, just for clarification. I am telling this story just to show how many women think this way.
Okay so, here was the conversation:

Mom: I was reading that girls who suffer from anorexia and other eating disorders usually have a mother who was always worried about her weight and dieting/trying new diets.
Me: Yes, I have read that too. I don't think that is always the case though, because if it was, I would be anorexic.
Mom: Yeah, I guess. In my defense though, my mom was like that too, so it kind of got passed on.
Me: Exactly! I think all the women in my life were like that, which is why my body image has never been good, even when I was at my smallest, I thought I was fat. I am really concerned about passing that negative body image on to L (my daughter).
Mom: (thoughtful pause) Yeah, I know what you mean....Oh hey, when you are ready to lose the rest of that baby weight, I have a diet that will work really well for you.

on being remembered

2007-03-07T13:42:00.000-07:00

Last night we found out that one of my misters co-workers died in his sleep. My mister works with a lot of young, driven professionals, and frankly most of them are big jerks. This guy was not a jerk though. He was one of the only one of my husbands co-workers who was actually nice to me. The last time I saw him, I was still pregnant, and he took the time to come over and ask how I was feeling. He was thoughtful enough to remember what month of pregnancy I was in, and the gender of the baby. For a single guy, this shows a considerable amount of effort. My interaction with him was minimal, but I will always remember him as a kind, thoughtful person.
I hope that someday people will say the same of me. How do you want to be remembered?

Running With Scissors

2007-03-03T20:12:00.000-07:00

The day after I got married, the mister and I went to Borders to purchase a book on tape (cd) to take with us on our honeymoon road trip to California. After dismissing the usual suspects, (Stephen King, Mitch Albom, Dean Koontz) we settled on an author neither one of us had ever heard of: Augusten Burroughs. We figured that since we both loved David Sedaris, another funny gay mans biography would be a great fit. We were in for quite an experience. Surprisingly honest, sometimes funny, sometimes horrifying, Running With Scissors was great roadtrip material. When I heard they were making a movie of the book, I tried not to get my hopes up, because usually books to movies usually don't follow the books very much at all. I guess since Burroughs had quite a bit of involvement in the making of the movie, it followed the book more than any movie i've seen. The book made me sad, because I imagined Burroughs as a very young adult having to deal with rejection from both his parents. The movie made it that much more real, as it chronicled his mothers obsession with herself. It makes me so angry to see people make their whole existance center around themselves and their feelings. Even more so when MOTHERS do it. When one becomes a parent, one gives up the right to be completely self absorbed. If you don't agree, you shouldn't have children. Burroughs mother was always the victim. We all know people like this. Nothing is ever their fault. They are always being wronged, and are never satisfied. I have a grandmother like this. I have a few friends like this. As the movie (and Burroughs life) illistrates, this kind of behavior damages people. Not just the person who is self absorbed, but those who love them and depend on them. Running With Scissors is just a movie, but its sad that someone actually had to live that. The good news is, he is making a lot of money :)

Feel like I'm taking crazy pills

2007-02-25T04:01:00.000-07:00

Has anyone seen that Air Wick commercial that has a female elephant complaining about her husbands multiple smelly shoes. Her husband is a CENTIPEDE. What the hell? Why would an elephant marry a centipede? How would they even consumate the marriage? Thats right, I really want to know.

From Lydia

2007-02-14T14:40:00.001-07:00

Valentines day Shmalentimes Day.

I love you every day!

Update

2007-02-06T19:01:00.000-07:00

^^Does NOT like gay sex anymore!!^^
See the story here.

A story for Lydia

2007-02-05T11:56:00.000-07:00

Here is a story my mom wrote for Lydia. She put it together in book form for Lydia to have. Hope you enjoy!

Lydia and the Twinkling Stars

It was a cold, starry night in January, in the country where Grandma and Grandpa lived. They liked it in the country because the stars were so very bright. But on this night, the stars twinkled more brightly than ever. Suddenly, the phone rang beside Grandpas bed. "Ring, Ring, Ring" went the telephone. Grandpa said "Hello!"
"Hello Grandpa!" Said Daddy. "Lydia is going to be born tonight!" Grandpa was so excited. He turned to Grandma to tell her the news, but Grandma was already up and getting ready to jump in the car to see Mommy and Daddy and Lydia of course.
Grandpa walked into uncle Andrews room to tell him Lydia was coming tonight! Uncle Andrew was so excited to see his new baby niece soon.

Soon Grandpa and Grandma were on their way to the hospital. The stars were twinkling as they talked about the fun they would have with Lydia. "We will play Hide and Seek" said Grandpa. "We will bake cookies and cupcakes" laughed Grandma happily.

Soon they were at the hospital. Grandma went into the big room with Mommy and Daddy while Grandma prayed for baby Lydia and Mommy. The Doctor told everyone in the big room that Lydia was coming soon! And she did! Lydia was here! "Hurray!" said the Doctor. "Hurray!" said Daddy and Grandma!

Lydia was so beautiful and she was happy to see everyone. Grandma told everyone waiting outside that Lydia was born and that she was beautiful, just like her Mommy.

Grandpa was the first to come in and see Lydia. Then came Grandpa John and Grandma Jenny. Uncle Andrew and Casey were next. Then Auntie Carolyn, Auntie Kate, Auntie Jessie and Uncle Charlie.

Just then Mommy said "it's time for Lydia to sleep everyone." So Grandpa and Grandma kissed Lydia goodnight and as they went home they looked up at the sky and saw the twinkling stars shine brightly in the sky and they knew why. Because Lydia was here.

Memories

2007-02-01T11:32:00.000-07:00

While wasting time on the internet this morning (something I do very well), I came across this link.
Yes, welcome to life in Lisa land, four years ago. Reading those old posts made me laugh at some parts and cringe at others. I was really a different person then. I think my writing style has changed quite a bit. Not sure if it's for the better. I am hesitant these days to disclose as much about my personal life as I did back then.
Most notably, I think my audience has changed quite a bit. I'm pretty sure had most of you come across my blog back then, you would have dismissed it as childish and trivial. Because it was. But I was also surprised to know that Sybil has been with me since then! She has consistantly offered great advice and encouragement, so thanks Sybil!
That time in my life was lots and lots of fun. (boys, parties, shoes) but if you look at some of the posts, its clear that I was unhappy most of the time. I never got the hang of being a rebel. I always feared the life I lived would have consequences later on. Because of this, I never really felt I could enjoy all the premartial sex, drinking, and drug use. I guess you could attribute it to the extreme religiosity of my youth.
These days I am feeling more grounded. I don't live the topsy turvy life I used to. I don't exactly miss it either. I sometimes miss my independence, but I realize that in my independence, I was unhappy. I'd rather have love and happiness in my life, even if it means I am dependent on my mister for these things.
I also see God differently than I did back then. More forgiving. Less menacing.
I'm not all grown up yet, but I am a hell of a lot closer than I used to be.

Issues with food

2007-01-22T15:56:00.000-07:00

Ever since I was a little kid, I've been weird.
Case in point: for as long as I can remember, I have always viewed some foods (mostly individual bite stuff like grapes, cookies, or popcorn) as alive. When I was a kid, I would pretend the food was talking to me, and then I would have to make the decision which one of my "friends" to eat first. Once this became too traumatic for me, and I realized that I simply couldn't eat my talking little food buddies, I changed tactics. I still talked to my food, but I pretended like they wanted me to eat them. "Pick me! Pick me!" each piece would beg. I pretended that being eaten didn't hurt them at all, and in fact, they loved it.
I told you I was a weird kid.
With that said, imagine my horror when I saw the new Chips Ahoy commercial. For those of you who haven't seen it, it's basically four cookies driving in a car singing, getting eaten one by one. This commercial seriously disturbs me. I need help people!!
Watch it here:

Presidential musings

2007-01-21T10:14:00.000-07:00

I am getting excited about politics again. Though I have always been extremely political, these past couple of years have caused me to step back from the political scene. I guess I feel so helpless to change anything with the current regime, so I felt it would be easier to not try. I barely got myself out there to vote for the midterms. Now that the 08 presidential hopefuls are announcing themselves, it looks like change is in the air. I think it is VERY unlikely that we will get another Republican president this time around. Its unfortunate for the quality Republican candidates that may be running, but the current president pretty much ruined their chances. The Democratic candidates are proving to be an interesting mishmash of people. As of right now, I am most interested in Sen. Obama. To me, he represents radical change for the direction of this country. He kind of reminds me of JFK in that sense. I wonder if he will actually make it to the elections or, as some analysits are saying, lose steam before they even begin. Although I would love to see a woman president, I don't believe Sen. Clinton is the right gal for the job. She is way to polorized in most peoples minds. New Mexicos own Govenor Bill Richardson is also expected to announce his plans this week. While I think it's nice that New Mexico is getting some national exposure, I'm not a huge fan of him as a presidential candidate. I think he is a pretty decent govenor. He has gotten a lot done for the state, and seems to have progress on the brain. From what I saw during my time covering the legislative beat for my old job, Gov. Richardson has a bit of a "good old boy" mentality. The you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Since my experience with national politicians is limited, this may very well be the norm. I just think it can be dangerous when the mud starts slinging.
Who are you rooting for?

Update: Here is a link on Richardson

Picture

2007-01-18T20:57:00.001-07:00

First post

2007-01-17T15:59:00.000-07:00

I'm back!
I know, it's been a while. I guess you can understand why! Since this is my first post back, I've decided to keep it easy, and do a list post.

1) My Lydia is the best baby ever! She sleeps a lot, and eats a lot, and poops a lot. So far, nothing I can't handle. I thought it would be a lot harder to have a newborn around than it actually is. Lets hope it stays this way.

2) I went to target today and got a really cute little black dress. In my old size. And it fits!

3) I am looking forward to getting back to freelancing again. I feel like everything in my life was on hold, waiting for this baby, so it's nice to be able to focus on something else. I have a few prospects lined up, and a lot of story quieries I need to do to get work. I feel pretty motivated to get myself out there again.

4) I have missed blog land!!

She's Here!

2007-01-11T15:01:00.000-07:00

Lydia Eleanor Chavez was born on January 8 at 5 p.m. She was 7 pounds 15 oz. and 21 inches. More on the labor later!

Happy 2007

2007-01-01T01:39:00.000-07:00

All the things my feet thought to be firm
Are falling with urgency
Tearing back my false sense of security

Some say things change, nothing stays the same
But the sweetness in my ears
Safe in your arms speak the words I love to hear

You have been more faithful than the morning sun
You have been more faithful than knowing the night will come
You have been more faithful than the changing of seasons

All things I thought that I used to know
Are falling down again

Our disillusionment is how we grow
Some say things change, nothing stays the same
In a world of inconsistency
When everything's a lie,

What can cause my heart to believe
You have been more faithful than the morning sun
You have been more faithful than knowing the night will come
You have been more faithful than the changing of seasons

You have been more faithful than the morning sun
You have been more faithful than knowing the night will come
You have been more faithful than the morning sun
You have been more faithful than knowing the night will come
You have been more faithful than the changing of seasons

More Faithful by Skillet

No more updates

2006-12-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

Until next year.
For now, I'd like to wish you all happy holidays!
I am still pregnant and NOT in the mood to update much.
May next year be great for each and every one of you!

Snow!

2006-12-19T11:59:00.000-07:00

It's snowing here! A rare treat for Albuquerque lately. I have noticed that snow makes the world a prettier place. I am rather sad that I have an appointment I can't break this afternoon though, because I HATE driving in the snow.

UPDATE

Wow! It's STILL coming down! Super exciting!!
My appointment got cancelled too. WOOT! I feel like making hot chocolate. Me and the kid I watch are planning to head out and play for a bit.

The Emergent Church

2006-12-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been reading up on a new movement in modern Christianity. As far as I can tell, this new movement, which calls itself "The Emergent Church" is a vehicle of change for Christians who are sick and tired of all the hypocrisy and self promoting of the modern church. Labeled by critics as having "all style and no substance", the Emergant church doesn't seem to mind if you are a card carrying Democrat. In fact, many of its members are much more liberal than your traditional Christian. These churches meet in proxy spaces (think cafes, coffee shops basements or lounges) with alternative forms of worship, meditation, reflection, new media, exhibitions and postmodern debate. An Emergent church could also be in the form of a network church or a sub-cultural gathering with no walls. The point isn't where they meet, but rather what their focus is. Kick-started in the United Kingdom over the past 20 years, the Emergent church first sought to define the problems with the modern church.
1-The observation that when young people grew up to be adults, they didn’t always fit into adult church; a cultural gap not just a generational gap existed.
2- The realization that the idea of missions and the church planting trend in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s proved we had good intentions regarding mission but missed the opportunity to think creatively about what sort of churches and ministry were needed.
3- The statistical evidence that 40% of the population in England and Wales have never been to Church and have no residuary awareness of Christianity and no experience of church. (The percentage is higher in the States, especially among the under 30 set.)
4- A growing unease within Christians that what happens on a Sunday often fails to connect with the other areas of their lives.

Essentially, the Emergent Church felt that the traditional church experience just wasn't relevant to what people need.
This idea appeals to me because I have long felt "out of place" in the church of my childhood. I haven't felt out of place in my beliefs, but rather in making them line up with traditional church ideology. I wasn't a virgin when I married. I am a democrat. I think gay people are the same as anyone else and should have the same basic rights. I drink and occasionally smoke. I believe in Jesus. I believe he is more concerned with whats going on in my heart and how I show love to others than he is with how many times I go to church in a week. I believe that he loves me, and therefore I want to show that love to other people. I don't want to cram the bible down their throats. I simply want to love. To give not just money and things, but of my time and of myself. I believe love is the purest form of worship. I also don't believe any of the statements above are contridictory.
I'm thinking that possibly the Emergent Church is something I can embrace.
Thoughts?

Source: Emerging Church Info

"aliens"

2006-12-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

I was reading this story this morning about a man who saved a little girl when she fell out of a 2 story window.
His quick thinking made him a hero in the city of Arlington, Va.
Whats interesting about this story is the man is a Guatemalan immigrant. Unless you've been under a rock for the last few years, immigration in America has been a hot button topic. There are many people who have exhibited an alarming amount of racism towards immigrants, especially those coming from down South. Since I live in a city that is relatively near a Mexican border, we have our fair share of racial tension. What amazes me is how quick people are to blame immigrants (legal or not) for all of our crime issues. When a story like this comes along though, their tune changes. Someone once labeled as a menace is suddenly hailed as a hero. If that man hadn't been in the United States, he wouldn't have been able to save that little girl. How convenient for us that he decided to come. Locally I've found that immigrants are for the most part, hard working people who only want to support their families. Since I grew up in the restaurant industry (my dad owns a few), I can tell you with certainty that an immigrant ALWAYS has a much stronger work ethic than someone from here. Many Americans, even though they are poor, find some jobs "beneath" them. Many immigrants are just happy to HAVE a job.
It's nice to see an immigrant being recognized for something GOOD.

Merry Holidays!

2006-12-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

It can't be possible that a whole year has passed since the whole "holiday greetings war" happened. Last Christmas at this time, people were bickering nationwide about how we should greet each other. Is it "Merry Christmas"?, "Happy Holidays"? or a myriad of other PC terms.
I don't really mind what words people greet me with, personally. The fact that they are wishing me well is reason enough not to get offended.
What are your thoughts?